I Made It!

Isn't there a gospel song out with this title? I maaaade it! This week has really been something else. The weekend was alright. Knitting, cleaning, lounging. I love rainy days because they give me an excuse to stay in the house all weekend. However, I am ready for Spring. There was some nice weather this week and this was very helpful. I'll tell you why later.

Thank you all for helping me narrow down the dress choices. I asked ya'll which ONE I should choose. How come couldn't hardly nobody just choose one? After tallying all choices, dresses No. 2 and No. 4 tied (scroll down to see dresses). I can work with that. I may not even be able to find the dresses in the stores if I don't move quickly. She's never worn an all red dress. At first I was like, not for Resurrection Sunday. But then again, we are there to be reminded that we're covered by the blood of Jesus.

I'm almost done with Cycling Aran.


I don't feel like weaving in ends and sewing a zipper. I used double stranded worsted weight because I liked the idea of the cables being super chunky. I have to block it. I'm so very lazy that I didn't knit a test swatch and I think it might bite me in the butt this time. I tried it on a co worker. The length was perfect though. The colors are mixed gray light and mixed gray dark. The light gray was supposed to be a vest and the color was discontinued. So, I got dark gray for the back. I think it added a little old school flair.

With my left over yarn I'm making a Brother In Law hat. Kamika paired this up with her Cycling Aran. The hat was for one of the kids (Little Man thinks it looks dorky), but I may send it to Big Bro anyway. Now for the drama. I was leaving for work Monday morning and the car wouldn't start. I stayed home that day, bummed a ride from a reluctant BD2 on Tuesday (and was therefore late), and used public transportation on Wednesday. On weekdays, it takes me an hour to get to work with one stop. I left my house at 7:20 and didn't get to work till 10:00. The bus/light rail dance was seamless. It was the fact that I had to get off a stop and walk a 30 min round trip to drop Teddy Bear to school mixed with the fact that the last light rail stop is 3 miles away from my job. I had to call one of my co-workers to come pick me up. Combine all this with cramps so fierce they had me breaking out into a sweat.

A different co-worker volunteered to get me the day before. Of course he could not be reached. He felt really bad and convinced me to stop what I was doing that very moment to drive the long distance back to my house, jump start my ailing vehicle (battery wouldn't hold a charge and the check engine light was on), recommended a place for me to take it, followed me there, took me back to work, and back to pick up my child and my repaired car at the end of the day. This guy normally irks me a lot for his entertainment. He is now totally redeemed. I will have no problems knitting him a gift since he's been asking me for a hat. It will be the best hat ever. My co-worker who kept giving me rides is getting something too. I'm thinking about Noro fingerless mitts for her. Her favorite color is turquoise. On top of that, I'm actually happy my repairs were only $225 since I thought that I had catastrophic engine failure.

The goodness doesn't stop there. Remember how crappy my week all started? Well, yesterday I turned 35 and this didn't help. Funny since sometimes I still feel like a little girl. My brother even had the audacity to call to wish me a happy almost 40 birthday. I try to avoid cursing on my blog, so we'll leave that there. Well, being single, there's normally no one around to honor me on such days. My parents are JW's, and I've never had anyone love me enough to gift me on Valentine's day or even Mother's day for that mater. I once planned my own Mother's day and demanded that BD2 execute it all. Bad idea. And, I've had friends invite me to brunch with their families, even though I'd be paying for myself (WTF?). I stopped going after a while.

This has always bothered Little Man. He sees how the world dotes over moms and lovers during these times and doesn't understand why his own Mama can't have this doting, not even on her birthday. It's not like I be crying or depressed on these days. I've gotten used to it really. Well, yesterday he just couldn't take it anymore and made me the best cake I've ever had in my life. I ate it until I couldn't eat it anymore. See how really happy I am? I love these kids.

I showed him all the cake decorating stuff I had. I didn't know he planned to use it all.

I'm very happy.

There was another cool picture he took of me and Teddy Bear blowing out candles, but I didn't want to pay any more to have it emailed to myself, and I wanted to show you all how really happy I was. I can't figure out how to get the pictures off my phone any other way.

Resurrection Sunday

You know, I just realized that this very special day is quickly coming upon us. I love this time to really reflect upon the sacrifice that that man Jesus made for us. It's hard to explain how believing in this man can bring so much power to your life. It's just something that you have to try for yourself.

Another thing that I like about this day (and don't act like you don't too), is the opportunity to dress up Teddy Bear!! Woohoo!

I really love the fact that church attire has become so relaxed these days. But, that makes dressing up even more fun. Some days I just gotta kick plain Jane out the door and do it big. After all, this is why I had a girl. Yes, I willed those chromosomes into that fetus.

Here's a few ideas I have so far. Can you help me choose a look?

No. 1

No. 2

No. 3

No. 4
No. 5

No. 6 I don't like any of these, keep looking!

I'm not stuck on sleeveless, I think I'm just drawn to it because it gives me a chance to add my own hand made embellishments. These styles are pretty mild and I may find something a lot more busy in one of those discount stores. I like the busy dresses, the ones with way too many spring like details embroidered in, because we can use them later for art in her room. Yes, there are dresses on her walls as art. The range in size from 3 months to 18 months, and it's time for a couple of new ones. The Christmas dress is going up there, but I just need to get some more complementing hooks.

I Wanna Choke Him Like Homer on Bart!

This day has been frustrating to say the least. First of all, Teddy Bear goes to a private pre-school that takes way too many days off. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if they took Valentines day off, or Yum Kipper, and it's a Christian school. So, even though next Monday is President's day, they still took off for Lincoln's birthday today.

Little Man goes to public school. They take too many days off too. They'll be off this Friday and Next Monday. I know I'm to blame too, but I have a good excuse for getting confused sometimes. It wasn't until the school called asking where my son was that I realized that he did NOT have school off TODAY. He told me there was no school and I did not double check. At first, this was kind of funny because I f$%&ed up so bad. After me yelling a few "What?!", "OMGs", and other explicative language into the phone, Little Man figures out that he'd better run into his room to get out of those big ass footie pajamas he thought he was going to lounge around all day in.

So, he comes out of the room dressed, and I'm still kinda laughing. I'm still frustrated too, so I tell him that he's walking (I'm joking). It's about an 8-10 minute walk. He bursts into tears. "Whaaat?!" This made me mad so I pinched the mess out of him and sent him walking for real. This is the same kid who got an attitude an hour earlier when I informed him he had to share one of three pieces of pizza with his little sister even though he'd just eaten breakfast. The same kid who won't empty the trash unless I tell him, even when we're balancing stuff on top. The same kid who knows he can't go outside until his chores are done right, but won't do them right the first time always thinking I'm not going to notice half-ass jobs.

I swear, I'd hand him over to his dad, but I can't bear the thought of him turning into one of them bitches Patrice was talking about (let me add that his Dad has a good job and goes to work on time, but he was a playa and a dogg and it took him too many years to learn how to respect the mother of his child). Not from my womb, uh-uh! I know that these issues ain't no biggie, but when you add all these microscopic irritants up, you can understand why Ki-ki left the kids and Big Mama's and never came back. I know I will never do this. So, I'm going to hang in there, and be pissed off for a minute, and maybe later, if he gives me some ish again, choke the hell out of him like Homer on Bart.

Gettin' Got At

I'm pretty sure there aren't any men who read my blog besides my brother and daddy sometimes. If there are male lurkers, you ought to give a holla in the comments section sometimes, it may make things a little bit more interesting. I said that because I want to talk about something a tiny bit sensitive. Men trying to talk to me.

Beside the recent account I'm about to share with you all, I do not remember the last time a man has tried to "Get At Me." Dang, I've been using this term so freely for so many years I never realized until just now how inappropriate it sounds. Get At. So dam ghetto. Anyway....

While perusing the isles of Walmart, this Walmart employee says, "Can I help you with that cart?" I just thought he was extending some dumb ass kind of customer service so I smiled at him and gave him a cherry no-thank-you. He follow me and admits that he really just asked me that silly question so that he could lead into the can-i-call-you-sometime question.

Me: Oh, I see. Do you work here?

Him: Yes, why, do you need help finding something?

Me: No, I just saw you engaged in a conversation with an employee a minute ago and was wondering.

Him: So, I didn't see a ring on your finger. Are you taken?

Me: No, not yet. So do you work here?

Him: Yes.

Me: So, what do you do here?

Him: I'm a cashier.

Me: Oh.

I quickly divert my eyes towards the cheap acrylic yarns and patterns. I was really looking for a purse handle for my Fat Bottom bag.

Hey, at least I didn't shut him down right away. It's been so long since I've gotten any kind of action I know I need to consider all suitors. He was gross looking and looked to be a little bit younger than me. I ain't feeling no horney cashiers right now. I say horney cause I know he was trying to holla at that woman right before me, when she shut him down, he moved to me, and he didn't waist any time moving on when I showed no interest.

I once asked a guy that if my friend had not tried to match us up, would he had talked to me if he saw me walking down the street. He said that he would not have because I don't look like I need nothin' or nobody. "So, I have to look needy?" I replied. "No, it's just that blah, blah, blah, ....... But you foine as hell, ain't no doubt about that." This didn't encourage me.

My girlfriend once told me that you'll only get out of it (trying to acquire a date) what you put into it. I don't really know if I agree with her, but this does answer so many questions.

Fat Bottom Bag

I like it! I wish that I was good at sewing so that I could have given it a lining. Very cute but too small for me. It also needs a closure. Maybe a snap closure. Until I work these things out it will be a small project bag. Perfect for these socks I have going on. You've probably already figured out that I never make my bed. I'll try not to take pictures of it in the future I promise.

I really like the shape of the bag. That's why I'm making a market bag for myself. I've always admired those wonderfully colorful felted bags you sometimes see. But, what if one of the food items you put in it leaks, what a tragedy that'd be. So basically, I'd be bagging items to put in my bag. How wasteful.
So, this seemed like the perfect time to start a project I've been wanting to embark on for quite some time. Something with plastic bag yarn. I got the instructions from this site referred to in a Crochet Me article. It's pretty easy, but making yarn for just my little project is taking A LOT of bags. I think that by time I finish the quantity used will be the equivalent to the number that could fit in an overstuffed kitchen bag. Maybe about $300 dollars worth of groceries. My "bisquits" are about 2 inches wide. I wanted a big bag so I'm trying to make chunky yarn and I'm using a size N hook.

I owe my brother a hand made birthday gift. It's really pathetic because his birthday was in August. Well, he wanted a vest with a little intarsia in the front. Boring. I couldn't do it. I ripped it off the needles several times. Finally, I took a stand (not directly to my brother yet). I will not start on another mile long stockinette project! He will get the Cycling Aran and love it. It's pretty fun and easy so far.

Just Try It, For A Season

I wanted to post about the completion of my Fat Bottom Bag, but that will have to wait until tomorrow.

While reading the latest post of an old college friend I realized something that I've known for some time even more profoundly today. Our struggle is great. Now, when I use the word struggle, I'm trying to encompass ALL facets of our existence. Basically, whatever it was that clutched your heart when you read the word struggle, that's what I'm talking about.

Today I want to remind you that God has a plan, and that he has everything under control.

This fact however does not mean that we do not or should not try to take responsibility for making this world a better place even though things are just going to get worse and worse. You may think that I just contradicted myself, but wrap your mind around these things. Jesus spoke of his second coming in Matthew 24, but at verse 36 he said "But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only." I grew up in a house where to position yourself to take action against atrocities and to position yourself for success in the secular world was futile. "This system of things is coming to an end" is what I was taught. I believe this, but does this mean give up? I think not.

Everyone recognizes the signs of the times talked about in the bible, but many people refuse to believe God's resolution to all these things.

About 8 years ago I was sitting in the living room of one of my best friend's parents. They live in this seriously fly house in the Blackhawk division of Danville. Needless to say, this was a chill spot we frequented. We were watching CNN who was reporting on some goings on in the Middle East. Without words, my friend and I turned and slowly looked at each other up and down. We were pretty much dressed the exact same way as these girls in the Middle East who were about our same age. They were doing the same thing we were doing too, cooking, enjoying one another's company, etc. Only difference was, outside of their little plain apartment were bombs going off, gunfire, screaming, rockets landing. Those girls were really trying hard to find some normalcy in the confines of the thin walls of that fragile apartment.

My girlfriend and I reacted to this realization differently. I'll not discuss her reaction here, but it's almost like I turned into Sarah Conner that day. Although I've continued to lavish my son with the fortunes of his environment, I stopped trying to shield him from the realities of this world. I wanted him to know that we walk a thin line and that should some of the disturbing images discussed in my old friend's post should touch our front door, he shouldn't be surprised. He was two then and what this way of child rearing has yielded is quite phenomenal.

I took my son to work with me and advised him not to talk to anyone. I know this seems extreme, but it was really just a buffer that I'd implanted to keep him cognizant of every word that emerged from his lips. I work for the feds at one of the facilities listed in the top ten at risk for a terrorist attack. Somehow, my then 9 year old son found the guy there who is the boss of everyone (so many words in his title I can't remember), and engaged in conversation with him without an invitation. "Are you my mama's boss?" I distinctly told that boy to stay in the conference room, yet a few hours later he had the Deputy Chief of Operation's So and So playing some race car game on the PSP. At the end of the day that old white man told me what I already knew. "That young man is very intelligent, very confident, very well spoken...." My son also loves learning about God and His love, helping people, and recognizes injustices in our community quite easily. Don't utter the words imminent domain around him unless you want to go a few rounds.

I think that this is because I try to tell my son the truth about everything, even the evil truth, and never try to shield him from the fact that it exists. However the battles that I try to prepare him for are not physical like those of Sarah Conner's son, but spiritual.

There are so many great minds out there, and I so wish that all their hearts belonged to Christ. The impact that they would then have on this world's critical situations would literally be miraculous. I don't want to offend anyone or single them out for not being bible thumpers. I just believe in God's power and that he uses men to do his will and that if you, great minded people would believe this too......Ahhhhhhhh, sookie-sookie now!

Now, I know everyone has their various reasons for not believing enough in the bible to apply the words in this book to their lives. But if you believe in God and that he has control, then just try for a season to come closer to Him. During this season forget about your intellect (what you think you know about the history of Christianity as compared to other religions), your church experience, that pastor you know, your overbearing grandma or auntie. Forget about whatever reason you have for not submitting to Him (forget about your past experiences) and talk to him on your knees tonight about the things deepest in your heart. Commit to this communication to the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob for just a season, just to see how your heart feels at the end of Spring as compared to the end of Winter.

My hope is that you'll at least have the peace that you need to look forward to the future. Let me know how it turns out.