What It Do, Baby?

I want to post about the stuff I've been working on, I do. But, I'm trying to borrow a camera so that I can get some adequate pictures. I've gotten the approval, but the delivery is taking some time. He'd better just bring the damn camera, LOL. Hmmm, could my attitude be why he's taking so long with it?

In the mean time, we've still been living it up. Yesterday we went to a birthday party at a dirt bike race track. It was a little nippy, but not cold enough to cancel and definitely not too cold for the actual racers. They loved it! Teddy Bear was too little to ride the track, but she has no problem entertaining herself. She spent her time rocking the mic on their intercom system. The owners of the place for some reason didn't want to ask me, "Can you please get your child?", so they just ended up turning the mic off on her after a couple of hours.

Later in the evening someone emailed me a picture of her gettin' gangsta. If you've looked at her pictures before and said to yourself, "hmmm, this child must be nuts." You'd be right. She'd probably give the Dimbled One a run for his money. I try to make the best of it. But I have a feeling that one day I'm going to be interviewed by some reality show host with dumb ass questions like, "Did you know that one day she would be on stage." Well, duhhhhhh! I'm just hoping that before then she can learn some self control.

She does not get this personality from me or from TV. I swear, she just comes up with this stuff. Getting her to model my knits is a trip.

Craving Filth

My Name is Nicole, and I'm an emotional eater. Have I mentioned this before? Well, admitting it wasn't enough to change my ways. When I get stressed out a chocolate strawberry square from the Nugget will do the trick. Why don't we just wash that down with some champagne. When I get nervous, no problem, lets whip up some salmon fettuccine with that creamy, garlicky, fragrant, flavorful sauce, and a nice green salad. When I get lonely, soul food, any kind, fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, greens, black eyed peas, etc. Depending upon how lonely I am (chic-a-bow-wow), we can follow all that with any kind of decadent dessert and wash it down with at least two mimosas. This describes my self soothing in a nutshell. I justify the behavior by telling myself that I have the right to be satisfied every once in a while and that since the world seems adamant on keeping me struggling I'm not going to hold MYSELF back from having what I want need and deserve. Visits with my 200 lb plus cousins don't even seem slow me down.

No, I'm not trying to catch up with them, and I know I need to slow down and exercise more. Knowing this doesn't change the fact that I am still an emotional eater. But what I don't understand is why I'm craving chilin's.

Chitlins or chitterlings are pig intestines, poop chutes people! Preparing them can be tricky, and it takes a lot of patience and work. My cousin and I used to have to stand in front of the sink for half the day separating the final membrane from the fleshy part that we would later be scooping onto our plates. African Americans first started eating chitterlings because as slaves we were given what was left over from the hog (i.e. cheeks (hog mog/maw?), feet (pickled pigs feet)). I'm a firm believer in African Americans shedding behaviors instilled by slavery, mentally and physically. So, why is it then that I am still craving chittlins which I am sure have no nutritional value. I haven't had them for years .

Could it be something emotional, or something still engraved in me from slavery. If it is emotion, which emotion am I trying to soothe? Why am I craving filth?!?!

I will buy 10 pounds this evening and bring them to our Easter feast.

Summer Fit No. 1

I so very much want my camera to be functioning. Using my cell is just not working out. I don't know about you, but I have to speak with photos.

The Monica top is big, a size 6. Nothing in size 4 in her closet fits her anymore so I didn't want to risk it. This is a frustrating size. When she starts wearing it I think I'm going to cris cross the straps in the back to make it fit better. I have her pinned up in the back to take the photo.


The tutu was really easy. You can not tell but the colors of the tulle are light pink and champage. I wish I could have found some brown. I am going to figure out how to use that sewing machine so help me. I think I like the look of a more finished tutu as seen here. This one will have to do for now and besides it fits perfectly. I got the tutorial for the tutu from here.

Yes, she does wear this kind of stuff out of the house. You'll never be 4 y.o. again so we like to do it big. I think it will go well with some Crocs or bling-bling flip flops.

Thank You Hat

Ok, I've finished my co-worker's thank you gift. He said that he wanted something yellow and gray. The dark color is actually a very dark gray, or off-black. I saw this dude once with a lace hat on. I chuckled because he probably had no idea that he was wearing lace. I pictured him buying the had and saying "ah, man, this one with the holes is tiiiight", or something like that. It wasn't fancy lace, just the YO K2tog kind. Anyway since it's almost spring, and I know this co-worker is a regular on the golf course, I thought it might be wise to incorporate some holes into this wool hat. It's also soft enough and thin enough so that he can ball it up and stuff it into one of his pockets if it gets too hot.

I used Claudia Hand Painted Yarns. This fingering weight yarn comes in a 175 yard skein and I still have a huge hand full left. I used the Visor Beanie pattern by Suzanne Steiger. It's very easy but I think some of the numbers are off a little. I'll have to make another to be sure, it could just be me. I added 3 more rounds and one round of sc around the whole beanie after adding the visor. The fact that the pattern called for worsted weight yarn and I used a fingering weight with a hook 2 mm larger than what was recommended led to this net like fabric. I like it. If the recipient isn't feeling it, I'll re-do it. This visor only took a day.

There was a little neighborhood event yesterday called Second Saturdays. It was held next door to this coffee shop in a big room about the same size as the coffee shop. All it was basically is some folk like you and I getting together to show off their stuff, and hopefully sell it. Where are my Sacramento Ebony Elite sistahs at? We need to organize to do what these ladies were doing. It's here where they invited some Alpacas for some reason. I say for some reason because it really was a tiny venue. Teddy bear liked them and I did too. They are very gentle and of course very soft.


Also, I found a breeder for Angora bunnies (they were there too). I could have sworn I took a picture of my bunny's daddy, dang. They've never bred before and my order will probably be their first batch. Time to start looking for my bunny supplies. Then I'll call them. They said you don't even have to shear the bunnies and proceeded to just pluck old boy's fur out. He didn't even flinch. I also got a little lesson from a spinner that was there. I don't know why I thought a lesson was going to make my progress any quicker. I just have to keep practicing. I reminded Little Man that George Washington Carver spun and dyed his own yarn and that if he learned to do this, he would just be following the footsteps of a great African American man. This is all true, but I'm just really trying to get me some yarn out of those bunnies and I might need some extra hands for that.

I Won, I Won!

I entered a little blog contest and won! Yay! I was gifted this Lorna's Lace yarn by Kamika, along with this neat patterns book. Thank you, Kamika for blessing me! This book in really empowering. By this, I mean that each and every one of us ought to have our own patterns book by now. I wonder what the hold up is?


Anyway, I'm going to try to make Teddy Bear a shrug with this. Maybe I'll be able to get this bell sleeve shrug from it if I shorten the sleeves. I love variegated yarns but rarely use ones with neutral colors and am very excited about what the outcome will be. Yep, I'm think I'm gonna do this pattern. If you have any other suggestions for a similar item, I'm open to them.

Aaaaah, don't they look cute when they're asleep.
Now, factor in the fact that this is MY pillow that she wants to share with me every night. This is crazy, yo. I normally am one to try to hide my gross imperfections, but maybe if I let the cat out of the bag I can get some ideas that will work. Let's start with the fact that I know that this is my fault. I have never been good at getting up for night time feedings. This is why breast feeding is so cool. She'd be on there all night while we were both asleep.

No, I don't breast feed her anymore, come on! Also, she started walking when she was 9 months old and was and still is an excellent climber. I put her in the crib every night just to wake in the morning to a brown nursing ball of fat. And my bed is as high as they come. All last week me and Little Man camped out in her room with sleeping bags. So, she CAN get a full night's sleep in her own bed. "Teddy Bear, you need to sleep in your own room, in your own bed." "I can't, I'm too little, I just can't do it", she says in the winiest voice she can muster.

It wasn't that bad when she used to look like this...

...but she's grown some. I've locked my door, she'll stand on the other side of it all night. Oh yes, she can stay up all night. She only needs 30 minute naps in between. I've let her sleep on the hallway floor before and she woke up with a runny nose (it gets cold out there). I'm stumped. If I can ever get past my issues with finding a quality man, I don't want to have to tell him that we'll be having a guest in our bed.

Several family members have suggested that I just give up and let her sleep with me forever like they did with their moms. Huh!

What to Say

Well, last week I endured a somewhat major crises that I quickly recovered from, with a splendid ending I might add. By that I mean the weekend was great. A weekend that was wrapped up by a nice long visit to my favorite Oakland LYS. Then yesterday I had a long conversation with a potential new male friend that ended horribly so very quickly. Then today, a cursing kid, so I had to break him off a lil sumthin', sumthin'.

Hmmmmm, which story to tell? This is a crochet/knit site, so there will be fiber content, I promise. What the hey, you know ya'll want to hear about the conversation with the man. I'll think about it.

In the mean time, I'm anxious for Spring time weather. Summer used to be my favorite season but once I moved to the Sacramento area Summer time became Hell time. Just too hot. Last summer it was like over 110 degrees for like two weeks in a row. Gee wiz. So, in order to call the change of seasons hither, I'm whipping up another Monica Top. This top is very cute and very quick and I know that it is now a tradition in this house. I've found an easy tutorial for a tu-tu, so as long as I can find tulle in the appropriate coordinating colors, we'll always have one of those too. I could not find brown tulle, so this champage color I found will have to do for now. My camera is dead so I'm using the celly. Not that bad, huh? I ran out of brown and only need about 4 inches of pink, so that pink strip you see will be hidden under the ruffle. My point, if you make this, don't buy two of the same color, you won't need it.

This is Brown Sheep Cotton Fleece.


Now, on to this convo that went bad. I met this guy who seemed nice. He claims he's interested in finding a wife, cool. He's a computer programer, cool. Only one child, cool. I'm not ready to give him my phone number, so, I took his and used *67. We seemed to really be making a connection. I mean, we talked a little bit about everything. Work, diet, excercise, cooking, past realationships, kids, money, so on and so on. This conversation went on for about an hour and a half. Finally, I try to wrap it up cause I have to cook. Then, he tries to make a date with me. I let him and we agree to meet for lunch on Tuesday. How come within 30 seconds, it all goes terribly wrong?

"It's something about you. I don't know what it is. I'm getting this real sexy vibe." I don't think nothin' of it, I mean, I am sexy. Although we never entered into any lude conversation, I thought that he was just very intriged by my phone convo. "I mean I really am feeling you. My dick is hard as hell right now. My shit is big."

I'm like, "Whaaaaat?! How you gone turn this into something pornographic like that? I can't believe this." He had the nerve to square up our date day and time and I'm just like "uh-huh, yeah" so that I can get off the phone. Then I get grossed out thinking about what he's doing right at that very moment. I hope I did that *67 right, because there will be no having of a lunch tomorrow or anything else! This man is 39 years old acting like a teenager. I'm not a prude, I just need something more. This was our FIRST conversation.

I Made It!

Isn't there a gospel song out with this title? I maaaade it! This week has really been something else. The weekend was alright. Knitting, cleaning, lounging. I love rainy days because they give me an excuse to stay in the house all weekend. However, I am ready for Spring. There was some nice weather this week and this was very helpful. I'll tell you why later.

Thank you all for helping me narrow down the dress choices. I asked ya'll which ONE I should choose. How come couldn't hardly nobody just choose one? After tallying all choices, dresses No. 2 and No. 4 tied (scroll down to see dresses). I can work with that. I may not even be able to find the dresses in the stores if I don't move quickly. She's never worn an all red dress. At first I was like, not for Resurrection Sunday. But then again, we are there to be reminded that we're covered by the blood of Jesus.

I'm almost done with Cycling Aran.


I don't feel like weaving in ends and sewing a zipper. I used double stranded worsted weight because I liked the idea of the cables being super chunky. I have to block it. I'm so very lazy that I didn't knit a test swatch and I think it might bite me in the butt this time. I tried it on a co worker. The length was perfect though. The colors are mixed gray light and mixed gray dark. The light gray was supposed to be a vest and the color was discontinued. So, I got dark gray for the back. I think it added a little old school flair.

With my left over yarn I'm making a Brother In Law hat. Kamika paired this up with her Cycling Aran. The hat was for one of the kids (Little Man thinks it looks dorky), but I may send it to Big Bro anyway. Now for the drama. I was leaving for work Monday morning and the car wouldn't start. I stayed home that day, bummed a ride from a reluctant BD2 on Tuesday (and was therefore late), and used public transportation on Wednesday. On weekdays, it takes me an hour to get to work with one stop. I left my house at 7:20 and didn't get to work till 10:00. The bus/light rail dance was seamless. It was the fact that I had to get off a stop and walk a 30 min round trip to drop Teddy Bear to school mixed with the fact that the last light rail stop is 3 miles away from my job. I had to call one of my co-workers to come pick me up. Combine all this with cramps so fierce they had me breaking out into a sweat.

A different co-worker volunteered to get me the day before. Of course he could not be reached. He felt really bad and convinced me to stop what I was doing that very moment to drive the long distance back to my house, jump start my ailing vehicle (battery wouldn't hold a charge and the check engine light was on), recommended a place for me to take it, followed me there, took me back to work, and back to pick up my child and my repaired car at the end of the day. This guy normally irks me a lot for his entertainment. He is now totally redeemed. I will have no problems knitting him a gift since he's been asking me for a hat. It will be the best hat ever. My co-worker who kept giving me rides is getting something too. I'm thinking about Noro fingerless mitts for her. Her favorite color is turquoise. On top of that, I'm actually happy my repairs were only $225 since I thought that I had catastrophic engine failure.

The goodness doesn't stop there. Remember how crappy my week all started? Well, yesterday I turned 35 and this didn't help. Funny since sometimes I still feel like a little girl. My brother even had the audacity to call to wish me a happy almost 40 birthday. I try to avoid cursing on my blog, so we'll leave that there. Well, being single, there's normally no one around to honor me on such days. My parents are JW's, and I've never had anyone love me enough to gift me on Valentine's day or even Mother's day for that mater. I once planned my own Mother's day and demanded that BD2 execute it all. Bad idea. And, I've had friends invite me to brunch with their families, even though I'd be paying for myself (WTF?). I stopped going after a while.

This has always bothered Little Man. He sees how the world dotes over moms and lovers during these times and doesn't understand why his own Mama can't have this doting, not even on her birthday. It's not like I be crying or depressed on these days. I've gotten used to it really. Well, yesterday he just couldn't take it anymore and made me the best cake I've ever had in my life. I ate it until I couldn't eat it anymore. See how really happy I am? I love these kids.

I showed him all the cake decorating stuff I had. I didn't know he planned to use it all.

I'm very happy.

There was another cool picture he took of me and Teddy Bear blowing out candles, but I didn't want to pay any more to have it emailed to myself, and I wanted to show you all how really happy I was. I can't figure out how to get the pictures off my phone any other way.

Resurrection Sunday

You know, I just realized that this very special day is quickly coming upon us. I love this time to really reflect upon the sacrifice that that man Jesus made for us. It's hard to explain how believing in this man can bring so much power to your life. It's just something that you have to try for yourself.

Another thing that I like about this day (and don't act like you don't too), is the opportunity to dress up Teddy Bear!! Woohoo!

I really love the fact that church attire has become so relaxed these days. But, that makes dressing up even more fun. Some days I just gotta kick plain Jane out the door and do it big. After all, this is why I had a girl. Yes, I willed those chromosomes into that fetus.

Here's a few ideas I have so far. Can you help me choose a look?

No. 1

No. 2

No. 3

No. 4
No. 5

No. 6 I don't like any of these, keep looking!

I'm not stuck on sleeveless, I think I'm just drawn to it because it gives me a chance to add my own hand made embellishments. These styles are pretty mild and I may find something a lot more busy in one of those discount stores. I like the busy dresses, the ones with way too many spring like details embroidered in, because we can use them later for art in her room. Yes, there are dresses on her walls as art. The range in size from 3 months to 18 months, and it's time for a couple of new ones. The Christmas dress is going up there, but I just need to get some more complementing hooks.

I Wanna Choke Him Like Homer on Bart!

This day has been frustrating to say the least. First of all, Teddy Bear goes to a private pre-school that takes way too many days off. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if they took Valentines day off, or Yum Kipper, and it's a Christian school. So, even though next Monday is President's day, they still took off for Lincoln's birthday today.

Little Man goes to public school. They take too many days off too. They'll be off this Friday and Next Monday. I know I'm to blame too, but I have a good excuse for getting confused sometimes. It wasn't until the school called asking where my son was that I realized that he did NOT have school off TODAY. He told me there was no school and I did not double check. At first, this was kind of funny because I f$%&ed up so bad. After me yelling a few "What?!", "OMGs", and other explicative language into the phone, Little Man figures out that he'd better run into his room to get out of those big ass footie pajamas he thought he was going to lounge around all day in.

So, he comes out of the room dressed, and I'm still kinda laughing. I'm still frustrated too, so I tell him that he's walking (I'm joking). It's about an 8-10 minute walk. He bursts into tears. "Whaaat?!" This made me mad so I pinched the mess out of him and sent him walking for real. This is the same kid who got an attitude an hour earlier when I informed him he had to share one of three pieces of pizza with his little sister even though he'd just eaten breakfast. The same kid who won't empty the trash unless I tell him, even when we're balancing stuff on top. The same kid who knows he can't go outside until his chores are done right, but won't do them right the first time always thinking I'm not going to notice half-ass jobs.

I swear, I'd hand him over to his dad, but I can't bear the thought of him turning into one of them bitches Patrice was talking about (let me add that his Dad has a good job and goes to work on time, but he was a playa and a dogg and it took him too many years to learn how to respect the mother of his child). Not from my womb, uh-uh! I know that these issues ain't no biggie, but when you add all these microscopic irritants up, you can understand why Ki-ki left the kids and Big Mama's and never came back. I know I will never do this. So, I'm going to hang in there, and be pissed off for a minute, and maybe later, if he gives me some ish again, choke the hell out of him like Homer on Bart.

Gettin' Got At

I'm pretty sure there aren't any men who read my blog besides my brother and daddy sometimes. If there are male lurkers, you ought to give a holla in the comments section sometimes, it may make things a little bit more interesting. I said that because I want to talk about something a tiny bit sensitive. Men trying to talk to me.

Beside the recent account I'm about to share with you all, I do not remember the last time a man has tried to "Get At Me." Dang, I've been using this term so freely for so many years I never realized until just now how inappropriate it sounds. Get At. So dam ghetto. Anyway....

While perusing the isles of Walmart, this Walmart employee says, "Can I help you with that cart?" I just thought he was extending some dumb ass kind of customer service so I smiled at him and gave him a cherry no-thank-you. He follow me and admits that he really just asked me that silly question so that he could lead into the can-i-call-you-sometime question.

Me: Oh, I see. Do you work here?

Him: Yes, why, do you need help finding something?

Me: No, I just saw you engaged in a conversation with an employee a minute ago and was wondering.

Him: So, I didn't see a ring on your finger. Are you taken?

Me: No, not yet. So do you work here?

Him: Yes.

Me: So, what do you do here?

Him: I'm a cashier.

Me: Oh.

I quickly divert my eyes towards the cheap acrylic yarns and patterns. I was really looking for a purse handle for my Fat Bottom bag.

Hey, at least I didn't shut him down right away. It's been so long since I've gotten any kind of action I know I need to consider all suitors. He was gross looking and looked to be a little bit younger than me. I ain't feeling no horney cashiers right now. I say horney cause I know he was trying to holla at that woman right before me, when she shut him down, he moved to me, and he didn't waist any time moving on when I showed no interest.

I once asked a guy that if my friend had not tried to match us up, would he had talked to me if he saw me walking down the street. He said that he would not have because I don't look like I need nothin' or nobody. "So, I have to look needy?" I replied. "No, it's just that blah, blah, blah, ....... But you foine as hell, ain't no doubt about that." This didn't encourage me.

My girlfriend once told me that you'll only get out of it (trying to acquire a date) what you put into it. I don't really know if I agree with her, but this does answer so many questions.

Fat Bottom Bag

I like it! I wish that I was good at sewing so that I could have given it a lining. Very cute but too small for me. It also needs a closure. Maybe a snap closure. Until I work these things out it will be a small project bag. Perfect for these socks I have going on. You've probably already figured out that I never make my bed. I'll try not to take pictures of it in the future I promise.

I really like the shape of the bag. That's why I'm making a market bag for myself. I've always admired those wonderfully colorful felted bags you sometimes see. But, what if one of the food items you put in it leaks, what a tragedy that'd be. So basically, I'd be bagging items to put in my bag. How wasteful.
So, this seemed like the perfect time to start a project I've been wanting to embark on for quite some time. Something with plastic bag yarn. I got the instructions from this site referred to in a Crochet Me article. It's pretty easy, but making yarn for just my little project is taking A LOT of bags. I think that by time I finish the quantity used will be the equivalent to the number that could fit in an overstuffed kitchen bag. Maybe about $300 dollars worth of groceries. My "bisquits" are about 2 inches wide. I wanted a big bag so I'm trying to make chunky yarn and I'm using a size N hook.

I owe my brother a hand made birthday gift. It's really pathetic because his birthday was in August. Well, he wanted a vest with a little intarsia in the front. Boring. I couldn't do it. I ripped it off the needles several times. Finally, I took a stand (not directly to my brother yet). I will not start on another mile long stockinette project! He will get the Cycling Aran and love it. It's pretty fun and easy so far.

Just Try It, For A Season

I wanted to post about the completion of my Fat Bottom Bag, but that will have to wait until tomorrow.

While reading the latest post of an old college friend I realized something that I've known for some time even more profoundly today. Our struggle is great. Now, when I use the word struggle, I'm trying to encompass ALL facets of our existence. Basically, whatever it was that clutched your heart when you read the word struggle, that's what I'm talking about.

Today I want to remind you that God has a plan, and that he has everything under control.

This fact however does not mean that we do not or should not try to take responsibility for making this world a better place even though things are just going to get worse and worse. You may think that I just contradicted myself, but wrap your mind around these things. Jesus spoke of his second coming in Matthew 24, but at verse 36 he said "But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only." I grew up in a house where to position yourself to take action against atrocities and to position yourself for success in the secular world was futile. "This system of things is coming to an end" is what I was taught. I believe this, but does this mean give up? I think not.

Everyone recognizes the signs of the times talked about in the bible, but many people refuse to believe God's resolution to all these things.

About 8 years ago I was sitting in the living room of one of my best friend's parents. They live in this seriously fly house in the Blackhawk division of Danville. Needless to say, this was a chill spot we frequented. We were watching CNN who was reporting on some goings on in the Middle East. Without words, my friend and I turned and slowly looked at each other up and down. We were pretty much dressed the exact same way as these girls in the Middle East who were about our same age. They were doing the same thing we were doing too, cooking, enjoying one another's company, etc. Only difference was, outside of their little plain apartment were bombs going off, gunfire, screaming, rockets landing. Those girls were really trying hard to find some normalcy in the confines of the thin walls of that fragile apartment.

My girlfriend and I reacted to this realization differently. I'll not discuss her reaction here, but it's almost like I turned into Sarah Conner that day. Although I've continued to lavish my son with the fortunes of his environment, I stopped trying to shield him from the realities of this world. I wanted him to know that we walk a thin line and that should some of the disturbing images discussed in my old friend's post should touch our front door, he shouldn't be surprised. He was two then and what this way of child rearing has yielded is quite phenomenal.

I took my son to work with me and advised him not to talk to anyone. I know this seems extreme, but it was really just a buffer that I'd implanted to keep him cognizant of every word that emerged from his lips. I work for the feds at one of the facilities listed in the top ten at risk for a terrorist attack. Somehow, my then 9 year old son found the guy there who is the boss of everyone (so many words in his title I can't remember), and engaged in conversation with him without an invitation. "Are you my mama's boss?" I distinctly told that boy to stay in the conference room, yet a few hours later he had the Deputy Chief of Operation's So and So playing some race car game on the PSP. At the end of the day that old white man told me what I already knew. "That young man is very intelligent, very confident, very well spoken...." My son also loves learning about God and His love, helping people, and recognizes injustices in our community quite easily. Don't utter the words imminent domain around him unless you want to go a few rounds.

I think that this is because I try to tell my son the truth about everything, even the evil truth, and never try to shield him from the fact that it exists. However the battles that I try to prepare him for are not physical like those of Sarah Conner's son, but spiritual.

There are so many great minds out there, and I so wish that all their hearts belonged to Christ. The impact that they would then have on this world's critical situations would literally be miraculous. I don't want to offend anyone or single them out for not being bible thumpers. I just believe in God's power and that he uses men to do his will and that if you, great minded people would believe this too......Ahhhhhhhh, sookie-sookie now!

Now, I know everyone has their various reasons for not believing enough in the bible to apply the words in this book to their lives. But if you believe in God and that he has control, then just try for a season to come closer to Him. During this season forget about your intellect (what you think you know about the history of Christianity as compared to other religions), your church experience, that pastor you know, your overbearing grandma or auntie. Forget about whatever reason you have for not submitting to Him (forget about your past experiences) and talk to him on your knees tonight about the things deepest in your heart. Commit to this communication to the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob for just a season, just to see how your heart feels at the end of Spring as compared to the end of Winter.

My hope is that you'll at least have the peace that you need to look forward to the future. Let me know how it turns out.

My First Lorna's Laces Socks

I've noticed that I've been wearing these socks a lot this winter.



I made these before I started blogging. I think it's been about two years now. These socks still look new. I got the pattern from this book called Stocking Feet published by AnniesAttic.com. I just used single crochet for the foot.

I was very proud of them then and still am now. I ran out of yarn on the left foot and could never find the same colorway again. Even though the fabric resembles that of a fishnet, they are still very warm and comfy.

Tough Titty! Knitting Content, I Swear

I often have children running towards me at full speed for one reason or the other. Therefore I've honed skills of sneaking around the house or always remember to lock the door behind me (depending upon what I'm doing) even though they've started picking locks. I was walking toward the children this time. Four to be exact since there were visitors last weekend. I was cradling a precious project in my arms as usual along with size 2.5 circular needles, when I was blessed with a full speed running hug accompanied by the beloved song "Mooooommmmy."

This drove one of my needles right into my areola. I screamed and looked down for blood but found none.

The other night, I noticed that said boob was sore. It had probably been sore for quite some time and I hadn't noticed. If you can't understand how I couldn't notice such a thing, ask any currently nursing mother. It's a feeling you grow accustomed to after a while so it may take a while to realize unusual boob tenderness, even years later. Breast feeding is beautiful but it's the worst pain you'll ever feel. Teddy Bear was breastfed exclusively.

I felt myself up and noticed that there was a scab. The knitting needle had actually punctured my tit. Ain't that a...

FO's, Hair, Politics

I was finally able to squeeze some pictures out of my tired camera. So, I'll post some fiber content first.

I told ya'll I got a Stitch N' Bitch Happy Hooker book for Christmas. Seems likes the projects have been flying off of the pages right into my lap, yes Ma'm.

First it was the Bunny Slippers. Done here in a yarn that's NOT meant for walking around on the floor with. So glad I didn't bother to sew eyes and nose on. I sure ain't buying the fancy stuff the book recommends. By mistake, on the first slipper I used the slipper insole for the bottom sole. I like this mistake because it looks better and fits my size 8 foot more snuggly.

Then the One Skein Scarf which happened in just a couple of hours cause I found this acrylic yarn I liked. I got some in camaflouge colors too. Maybe I'll make something for Little Man after all. I love this scarf, I really do. I swear this girl has to be in every picture. I hear her in there being bossy right now.

And finally, Fat Bottom Bag, which only took a couple of days, and which I was able to use yarn from my stash that was gifted to me about 2 years ago and which I am completely delighted with. I'm so glad I waited for the right project for this yarn. My co-workers gave it to me along with a patterns book of some tacky shrugs. I wish I could see them now to show them what perfect yarn they chose for the Fat Bottom bag. Bless their hearts. I only have to find handles and a brooch now.

I'm working on the Jolly Rancher too, but it's giving me problems because I don't like scull and cross bones and am trying to substitute a dirt bike silhouette. Therefore, I can't waste my precious camera energy on it.

This weekend, I tried to color my hair with a "rinse" or as the bottle says, temporary color. I rarely, rarely colored my hair when it was processed, and I've never used a rinse before. The bottle said "Vibrant Color." I didn't want it to be a vibrant Dark Cherry, just a hint of a dark cherry. So, I didn't leave it in there for the full 30 minutes and I rinsed as much as I could out. Most of my linens are white, and I didn't want that stuff on my sheets. I guess that's why there's not one hint of Dark Cherry Jazzing left in my hair. It's like I did nothing. Should I try again?

Today at work I took it upon myself to remind everyone that if they wanted to vote in the Presidential Primaries that in California it is the last day to register to vote. There's one Black employee on our campus. He's from Detroit but has traveled around the country with his family in pursuit of career advancement. He doesn't vote. He didn't admit it to me, but I can tell. He told me that letting everyone know what my political preferences were (voting for the Black candidate) may prevent me from getting promoted as quickly so I should "keep it on da unda."

It went like this:

Me: This is your last day to register to vote if you plan on voting in the California Presidential Primaries.

Him: I'ma register, I'ma register (I've been trying to get him to do this for the last two weeks.)

Me: Well, today is your LAST chance, just do it.

Him: Guurl, you don't need to be tellin' errbody who you wanna vote for. You need to keep it on da unda. That might keep you from gettin yo lil promotion.

Me: If there ever was a time that we need to make it known who and what we stand for, it's now. And, maybe one day soon we won't need to keep it on da unda. Boy, I gotta get that Detroit outta you (I shouldn't have said this).

Him: Oh, errbody in Detroit is fo Barack. They all Black out der, so you know they makin' it known who they wanna vote for.

Me: Ok, so you need to make it known too and just be less....less, what is the term I'm searching for?

Him: You searchin' for the term Uncle Tom.

Me: Is that what I'm trying to say? Is that how you refer to yourself???!!!! You refer to yourself as an Uncle Tom?!

Him: Yeah, you just ack like you not sho whodda vote fo. And den ack like it just seem like most of the best points go twads yo guy.

At this point my eyes start scanning my office, I don't know what I'm looking for. I find it. It's about a 4 foot stick Engineers use for marking gas lines, phone lines, etc. I pick it up. He realizes what I'm about to do and makes a run for it. Thank God there weren't any witnesses. Don't worry, I couldn't get a decent swing because the long stick was too awkward to maneuver in the narrow hallway and he got away. Do you think I over reacted? What's wrong with our people? I really wanted to beat some sense into him.

Race and Politics

What is it about the tears of a white woman that make men faint? I really thought that when Hilary put on her little performance that would be the deal breaker. I think that this country is ready for a woman president, however it is not ready for one that openly shows emotion. I started to wonder how she was able to maintain composure in the public eye when her husband’s freaky deaky little Monica interludes were the main topic but couldn’t now. It wasn’t until the next day and the photo finish in New Hampshire that I realized her plan. It’s said that it is because of her “composure” that the American people can’t really relate to her. They said that the fact that she didn’t provide a question and answer session in Iowa added to her this ice woman persona. Therefore, I think that she was willing to do whatever it took to take first place in New Hampshire. I bet you we don’t ever see her cry again (at least not soon).

Now, she has to bring some race bullshit into the picture by saying “I’m not a racist, I have friends who are black.” Ok, she didn’t say that, but she might as well have because to me all of her responses to being criticized for racially tainted remarks were equally as stupid. Now that Barak has squashed the whole deal by reminding her to stay on point, her campaign has started whining about the goings on in Las Vegas. Barak is simply talking to and listening to people in industries that presidential campaigns don’t usually care about. “Ok, while the others are lying to a bunch of people in states with a dying car manufacturing industry (you can’t stop progress), I’m going to go talk to people who will be working for ever and ever (cause last I checked those robotic servants on the Jetson’s and Shaggy and Scooby are a long time coming).” This is what I imagine Barak’s campaign was thinking. Hilary’s camp is probably wondering what even to say to this “type” of people. She can’t cry again so soon, so they’re taking other avenues.

My cousin married a non U.S. citizen. Their love was genuine, and through this relationship we met a lot of his single foreign friends. My cousins and I became notorious for advising his friends to avoid getting into relationships with white women. They didn’t listen to us. We are also notorious for saying “I told you so” when the relationships went bad but ridiculously in the woman’s favor. My cousin even told something like "I told you so" to an ex-Ambassador who got swept by a white woman.

I’m going out on a limb here and risking making some of you angry because I’m hoping that some of my readers are ones who have never voted before. I’ve voted since I was 18, but I admit that most of the campaigning process and politics in general had been confusing and intimidating to me. Therefore, I often voted not because I thought my candidate would be the best one to deal with the most important issues (I can’t determine what those are for you), but because of what type of person I thought he was. I still use this as a measure, although now I have a much better understanding of the whole political process. I have a feeling (and really hope) that this year, you’re going to vote. So, when faced with choosing between a white woman who wants to manipulate with tears as opposed to a black man who wants to hear what I have to say so badly that he’s willing to come to my job to listen. Guess who I’m gonna pick?

Obama for change!

Long Meetings

Just how long should a business meeting be? I’m taking a break from and 8 hour meeting now. Good thing I like all of the people in this meeting. Shouldn’t you be able to get some real work accomplished between one to two hours?

This is how my last couple of weeks have been, just a series of looooong meetings. You see, we schedule these meetings to make up for the fact that the system we operate in doesn’t work. But, all anyone wants to talk about in the meetings are how the system doesn’t work. Here’s a bright idea, why don’t we just schedule some meetings to talk about how to re-vamp the system, but for now, can you update me with the information that I need to move forward with my many projects?!

Yesterday, while in a three hour meeting that went all bad for my office, I wished that I had a tazer. There’s this new guy who was hired to deal with the issues of this certain office who aren’t nearly producing the way they need to. Only thing is, he wants to get into everyone else’s business too. I could have tazed his ass over, and over again. It felt so good this morning to, with the permission of my boss, block his access and all the access of his underlings from our digital records. I bet his dumb ass thought he had a right to our database. Sike!

When’s the last time you’ve been trapped in a room together with people for hours? After a while, peoples’ Right Guard start turning left, they lose the ability to fight flatulence, and their hunger pangs start to affect their attitudes. My dad has always had the ability to make floors tremble whenever he farted. He used to say to us, “That was the floor cracking.” I used to think this was just so gross. But now I know that my poor daddy had to hold his farts all day long because he was around people all day long. This is why I try to be patient with people who in long meetings decide that they absolutely have to fart that ghost. Boooooooohoooooo! We’re all human.

Now my boss is trying to convince me to go to yet another meeting with the promise that after it ends at 3:00 pm I can go home. Deal or no deal?

Gift Knitting

My hobby is exactly that, mine. I use it to deal with a lot of stuff in my life , a lot. I think this is why it's so hard for me to make gifts for people. Now, I know there are some out there who pretty much gift their projects exclusively. I applaud you for that, I really do. But for some reason, I just can't let mine go that often. Now last year I wanted to create a scarf that I thought was beautiful, the Forbe's Forrest from Scarf Style. It contained intricate detail but was masculine at the same time. "This would like nice on my brother," I thought. And therefore, he became my muse. As soon as I was done blocking I shipped it off to him and he loved it. And then a few years back there were these chunky chenille boas that I couldn't stop crocheting. They were soooooo easy, I thought that all of the ladies that I love should have one. They loved them. My step mother even kept making requests for me to make them for her friends. This got old. My mom called me the other day and asked me if I could make a scarf for her. "What kind of scarf?", I asked. "Oh, just something basic", she said. "You could probably go right over to Target to find something pretty basic for less time and expense", I replied. There's other examples that I could share, but I'm sure with these few you get the point.

Now, when I tell someone I'm going to make them something, I keep my word. But, I do not like people taking away from my crafting time for their own selfish gain. Or, like Little Man, and I think maybe my Mom just trying to take my crafting time, period even though you don't really want or need it. Little Man is notorious for this. I'll make him something and he'll rarely wear it claiming some strange imperfection when he really wants to say that he prefers store-bought. Then why the hell did you ask me to make it for you?! Just so you know, I did offer to make my mom something more unique and less basic. Her other suggestion was a mohair sweater with a flop in the front. I think she used to own something like this back in the day. Imagine her shock when I told her one big hand full of mohair was about $9. My mom is like a size 22/24.

So, maybe all this is why when I made a genuine attempt to knit up some socks to fulfill my secret Santa obligations it all went horribly wrong. Now, these socks were supposed to be for a man who I estimate must wear about a 10 1/2 shoe. I used the Universal Toe-Up formula and determined that the socks should be worked over 64 stitches with 12 unwrapped at the toe and heel. Why, pray tell, did I then get something like the following?
Yep, they're turning out nicely, but that is my foot people, and I don't ever wear anything larger than I woman's 8 1/2. I tried to knit some socks for someone else, and ended up with some for myself. Oooops. ;-) Maybe it was that shot of Remi in my coffee.

But then, after Christmas, I started feeling guilty. Of course, the new babies are getting bigger, and after reading Shameka's gifting progress. Ughhh! I really want to finish their sweaters by New Year's day, but then my one and only gift, the one from my from my secret Santa is the Stitch N' Bitch Happy Hookers book. Oh, a wonderful publication indeed. Those bunny slippers are looking soooooo good right now. And little man would probably enjoy that Jolly Roger sweater if I could convert that skull and cross bones to an Oakland Raider. What to do, what to do.

I must decide quickly. Teddy Bear has just excused herself from the queue by objecting to these adorable ballet slippers I thought would be perfect for running around the house in. "Mommy, can you please take these off me. I don't like them." Huh, then why am I waisting my knitting energy on you then? Hmmm, I think I'll use this yarn for my Fat Bottom Bag.
Any advice?

FO's, FO's Everywhere

Ok, just a couple of FO's. First let me start off by saying that I must cherish every moment left of blogging with images as my camera is failing fast.

This is me giving it a good talking to on the way to Teddy Bear's Christmas program.


You'd better not piss out on me now. You better not.

Second, I've been finished with the Mini Anthropologie for a while now. When I finally got in the groove it only took like a day. I'm using a studded hair pin to hold in closed. I would have preferred a brooch, but I couldn't find one proportionate to Teddy Bear's size. This worked well too because I could pin it to the dress without poking through the fabric and therefore keep everything in place.

Teddy Bear was supposed to have a semi-solo (her and two other kids) but chickened out at the last milisecond. When she got up to the mic she just turned right back around and went to her teacher. Darn. She then played this game of hear no evil, see no evil. Oh well.

Oh, and I love my up do. I am well pleased, can't you tell? I've tried to capture every angle for your viewing pleasure. I know there may be naturalists out there who'd like to criticize my meticulously groomed locks. So sorry to disappoint. You WILL be seeing more of these creative endeavors.

The gathered pullover is a wrap. When I first saw it I thought that it would be perfect for a recycling project. I was right. It looks good on, but I must say that the sleeves look a little wonky when laying flat. Imagine my anguish when realizing that the sleeves may be too small for the sleeve holes (I know there's a technical name for this but I just can't think of it right now). The designer should have put a little note saying something like "Warning, the sleeves may look too small but they are not. You will have to work carefully with them but they will fit. We recommend crocheting them in with a slip stitch." I always crochet my sleeves in, but this method was especially useful this time. By the way, Banana Republic sews all their seams with a crochet slip stitch. Just a little interesting tid bit of knowledge. I just like the rolled edge look in general and it seems like everything store bought with this feature is a little pricey. I wonder why? I also like my sleeves long, so I didn't adjust them.

Almost Done!

Listen while you read...

One more sleeve to go of the Gathered Pullover. I'm unraveling the body of the BR sweater to finish up. I thought that this piece would yield two large balls of yarn, but not so. Maybe I nicked the strands while unraveling. Darn it.
I like the way it fits so far.

And, since I'm ever so guilty of lurking on natural hair blogs but never posting about my natural hair, I thought that I should share. After realizing some time ago that the blogosphere had such a large collection of natural hair journey journals, I decided to jump right in. Because I never viewed my current hair style as a journey as much as I do a destination I think it's been hard for me to keep up with hair posts. I mean, how much can you talk about a hairstyle that rarely changes. It's probably just me. I'm posting now because on Friday I'll be getting my first professional up-do. A style that I found on Renaissance Hairtopia. I can't wait until I have enough hair for a wedding bun. Wish me luck!

Excuse my mess.